Escape Room Etiquette: The Hilarious How-To (and How-Not-To) Guide for Players
Welcome, future Houdinis and puzzle-masters! So, you've decided to lock yourself in a room voluntarily. Congratulations on your questionable life choices! But before you embark on your great escape (or epic fail), let's review some dos and don'ts to ensure you don't become the escape room's scape goat for an experience that they can’t unsee.
The Do's (Or How to Not Look Like a Complete Newb)
Communicate like your life depends on it: Because for the next hour, it kind of does. Share your brilliant (and not-so-brilliant) ideas. Remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid silence.
Embrace your inner kindergartener: Share, play nice, and don't eat the props. Teamwork makes the dream work, folks!
Listen to instructions like it's the secret to eternal youth: That game master isn't talking just to hear their own voice (probably). Pay attention, or risk spending an hour staring at a lock you could've opened in the first 5 minutes.
Treat props like they're your grandmother's fine china: If you break it, you bought it. And trust me, that creepy doll's eye is probably more expensive than your car.
Keep your cool like a cucumber in a freezer: Panicking is reserved for when you realize you left the oven on at home, not for escape rooms.
The Don'ts (Or How to Avoid Being "That Guy")
Don't be a rule-breaker: Unless you want to star in "Escape Room: Prison Edition."
Don't be a puzzle hog: Sharing is caring. Hogging is for farm animals, not escape room enthusiasts.
Don't channel your inner Hulk: If it doesn't open easily, it's not meant to. Brute force is for opening pickle jars, not solving puzzles.
Don't become a kleptomaniac: Those props aren't souvenirs. Your pockets aren't a black hole – what goes in must come out!
Don't be the "alpha" player: This isn't "Survivor." You can't vote your teammates off the island... er, out of the room.
Don't throw in the towel too soon: Giving up is like leaving a party before the cake. You'll miss out on the best part!
Don't unleash your inner banshee: Screaming "We're all gonna die!" might be funny the first time, but it gets old faster than that milk in your fridge.
Remember, the goal is to escape the room, not your dignity. Follow these guidelines, and you'll be well on your way to escape room glory. Or at least, you won't be the cautionary tale in the game master's break room stories.
Now go forth, you beautiful, puzzle-solving unicorns! May the odds be ever in your favor, and may you always find the key before it's too late. Happy escaping!